Sign #2 (or 2020) My Baby Is An Adult


#sol20- June 30, 2020

I know everyone says when you have a baby, “Time will fly!” “Blink and they will be an adult.” “Treasure every moment.” The thing is you think you have all that under control until you don’t and you blink and whaaaa… time has flown, they are adults, and maybe I didn’t really treasure every moment as I should have. I did not write as they were growing up, so there is so much misremembered or forgotten all together! Recently I have had moment 2 (or more likely moment 2,000,000) that makes me realize my “baby” is an adult. How to put that in my almost empty baby book I started for him back in 1993?

Curtis finished law school this spring (I do not say graduated because like so many others he did not get that landmark celebration). He finished and had his birthday close together so I asked him if he wanted me to combine his gifts. He is generally a very practical person, so he said yes. After much deliberation his decision… a piece of furniture. He is moving across the US back to the city where he lived as an undergraduate (DC) to begin work a law firm (he was supposed to start in late September, but due to Corona it has been postponed until January). The furniture he has now was bought on the super cheap and has served him well, but he is ready for an upgrade.

When I stop to think of it the adulting signs have been there for years, after all, he moved (himself) from Germany to DC for college, then to Arkansas for his first “real job” (where I first felt shocked to see him as an adult), then on to Michigan for three years of law school. He has done all of these things more or less independently as I have lived zillions of miles away.

I asked him to send me the links to what he was considering, as I would never choose something so important without his input. Somehow looking at the links of the desks, couches, dressers, and coffee tables he was considering made it all very real once again.

Things I learned from this (in no particular order):

  • My baby is an adult! (He just turned 27, so yeah)
  • We do not have the same tastes in everything (okay, maybe this was another shock that should not have been a shock, as he has had strong opinions from birth).
  • He is quite capable and independent, yet I am so grateful that he still lets me now as he makes some decisions (even though I know for sure there is a lot of his life he does not share with me).
  • Our relationship is still strong. (He asks for my opinion sometimes)
  • I like him as an adult. (I love him too)
  • I like having adult “kids” even though I really liked having young kids too. (My mom says this too)
  • I must be older than I think to have such old kids! (My growing model of maturity was Marcia Brady and I still do not feel as mature as her)
  • I have to remember all this when I talk to my parents. (Especially now when we do not have our usual summer catch up)
  • I am proud of the adults my kids have become. (They are good people)
  • Relationships can change and that is okay. (We have been in touch more since Corona because he has more time. I suspect that may change again once he starts his job)

The stubborn in me looked through the links and gave him a list back of the ones I would be happy to gift him because if I am going to buy something as sensible as furniture it will be something I like too. He has chosen his apartment after seeing several via virtual tours and in late August when he makes his move this little piece of my heart will move with him too. I am already thinking about the symbolism I can explain in the card I will write to him. He is an adult and will not roll his eyes in front of me (maybe).

4 thoughts on “Sign #2 (or 2020) My Baby Is An Adult

  1. My boys are still pretty little – 9 & 12 – so 27 feels (and is!) a lifetime away. Your post makes me happy because it celebrates the relationship you have and reminds me that I am raising my boys to be adults. Good to remember after spending about 100 days together with no school & no vacation. Also, I suspect none of us will ever be as mature as Marcia Brady. She was in a league of her own. 😉

  2. Erika, congratulations to your son and to you! Wow! I loved reading the sweet list of things you learned as you looked through the links he sent. It’s amazing how we can learn so much from living life in all the details. I love that you are carefully thinking about what to buy and how to write a special letter about it. I hope he does great things in D.C.! What an opportunity. God bless you all.

  3. Oh Erika! I felt this piece so much as a mom. I feel like I will blink and my kids will be 27 too. My son turns 10 in October- double digits- and I see how so much of parenting is learning to let go and hope that what you taught sticks. I think it is excellent that you not only love your son, you LIKE him and you have close relationship. This was such a great piece. Congrats to your son on his achievement and congrats to you on raising a child who is so independent, strong, smart and capable.

  4. Sometimes I look at my own adult children and wonder where the years went. I don’t have any regrets, but I too wish I was a writer when they were younger. Now I’m writing about my grandkids! It’s wonderful that you like your son; that’s a blessing!

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