#sol20- March 7, 2020
Yesterday one of my students came in with a new hair cut-shorter, styled, and I love it! Unfortunately, not everyone was kind when they saw the change. She told me afterward that she had been prepared for some teasing, but what she got was too much. People used words meant to hurt- some people said she looked transgender and threw that word like a cudgel, others said she was now a Justin Bieber lookalike, which was also meant to wound. We talked about how neither comparison in itself was negative, but that the way the words hurt her heart was what mattered.
In class earlier this week we read Sparkle Boy, and another student pointed out the connection she saw- that people do not get to decide what makes someone a boy or girl- we all need to make our own decisions. A haircut does not make a person who they are. We choose our own way.
So, today, I was getting a hair cut. I made up my mind that I too was ready for a change. I have had this chin-length bob for a few years now, so it seemed like the right time to shake things up. I admired several people’s “new looks” recently- I could make a superficial change this way too.
Amber got her mandate- change my hair in a way that I could still maintain. I am really only going to run the brush through my hair once a day and will not spend another second on it-no blow-drying or any other styling. So a few minutes later I left with a new look. I now have lots of layers, and my was hair thinned out- no more straight-up bob- lots of “movement” Amber said.
I never love my hair-so it is too soon to know if I will like this change, but regardless I am reminded that kids teach me lessons every single day- I just need to listen.
My lessons learned from a haircut include:
- Change can be hard (even something as superficial as a haircut)
- People can be so judgey (and mean)
- You cannot control how people perceive you
- Be you
- Trust your people
- Ask for help when you need it
- Growing up is hard (and somehow I never feel “grown up”)
I am sure as I continue to reflect I will find other lessons learned.
Ms. Victor Reads 
I love how you trusted your hair dresser to do what you needed her to do. Change of a hairdo is usually hard; yet, when it is right, it is right! Good for you, and your student,
What’s great book to turn back to in this moment. I also think sharing what you’ve learned with your students may empower the student with the new cut.
Congrats, slicer on being a winner in getting others to join as slicers!!!!!
So proud of you and inspired by your passion for writing!!!!
Everything in life offers us lessons (if we notice and contemplate). You are truly kind and reflective! And you are also pretty daring-I’d love to see your haircut and know what your student who was teased has to say about it. I wonder if she’ll appreciate her role in your decision. Thank you for another beautiful slice!
Thank you for a great slice. Who knew there was so much to learn from a haircut, but you brought those considerations to light beautifully. I am considering a change of hair myself, and your slice has given me more space for rumination about a haircut, and much more. Thank you!
Great lessons learned, and I’m sure the layered do is going to be fun, light, and nice. I think your student will feel solidarity with you too.
Yes, congratulations on that lovely five-pack of books you won!!